Source: Frank Vincentz (Own work) via Wikimedia Commons
We’ve long assumed that a straight man might engage in same-sex sexual interactions under unusual circumstances, such as a display of power dynamics while in prison, a gang, or a fraternity.
Although some identify as mostly straight, they are frequently blended with the totally straight group in research studies.
Due in large part to the popularization of the topic in the bestselling 2005 book On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men,[i] Latino and African-American men are the primary subjects in research with non-gay identified MSM.
The existence of white men engaging in the same behavior is unquestioned but has generally been elided (even though our existing knowledge base on bisexual men, in general, is built upon the white male experience).[ii]
One of the earliest studies, "The Bisexual and Non-Gay Attached Research Project" from the early 1990s, found that participants engaging in same-sex sexual behavior but not identifying as gay or bisexual described themselves as “kinky,” “normal,” or “just a guy.”[iii] A much more recent 2010 study consisted of interviews with heterosexually identified men who had engaged in sexual activity with another male in the previous year; participants did not consider this activity as discrepant with their identity.
Or it could be an “accidental” act while he’s high or drunk, or a means to “get off” (orgasm), or to fulfill a dare or prank.
The concept of straight men who have sex with men challenges the traditional and for many the unyielding belief that sexual behavior is indicative of identity. Still Straight: Sexual Flexibility Among White Men in Rural America.
Their narratives show how similar sexual practices carry different meanings across contexts and populations.”
Based on a recent review of the research literature (2017), I discovered that the largest group of men who have sex with men identify as straight. Same-sex sexual activity did not necessitate a reconsideration of sexual identity for four reasons:
- The activity was infrequent
- Sex was seen as recreation or sport; males engaged in same-sex sexual activity for the sake of physical activity or stress relief
- Sex as an economic necessity; almost half of the participants engaged in sex with other men for money, and the majority of those reporting this were substance users
- Sex as an accident; participants stated the sexual activity was not their fault or beyond their personal control, such as inebriation or the unplanned outcome of an argument with a wife or female romantic partner
Also, while engaging in the sexual behavior, the subjects avoided kissing, hugging, talking to the other male (or even looking at him), and leaving immediately following sex.[iv]
Similar findings were found throughout a series of interviews with non-gay identified MSM prepared for the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in 2004.
To Silva, the results "demonstrate the flexibility of male heterosexuality and the centrality of heterosexuality to normative rural masculinity.” To these men, same-sex sex is compatible with heterosexuality: “It is not the sexual practices themselves but individuals’ interpretations of them that are central to sexual identity and gender.” For partners, the men preferred “secretive, nonromantic same-sex sex” and had both one-time meet-ups and regular male sexual friendships.
In an email exchange, I asked Tony Silva why he researches bud-sex.
Mostly Straight: Sexually Fluidity Among Men. Of far greater importance for their sexual identity were “romantic relationships with women, childrearing, integration in straight communities, and how they perceived their masculinity.”
In an email exchange, I asked Tony Silva about the significance of his research: “It demonstrates that there are many different populations of men who have sex with men.
As Silva concluded, “It is not the sexual practices themselves but individuals’ interpretations of them that are central to sexual identity and gender.”
Indeed, which sex they have sex with was mostly irrelevant for the sexual identities of the men Silva interviewed. They participate in a wide range of sex acts, including anally penetrating a man and being penetrated by a man.
To them ‘straight’ refers more to their identification with mainstream heterosexual institutions, such as conventional marriage, and straight culture more broadly. Quite possibly, this conflux of factors offers the best etiological elucidation of the SMSM demographic.
References
[i] J.L.
King, On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of 'Straight' Black Men Who Sleep with Men (New York: Harmony Books, 2005).
[ii] Karolynn Siegel, Eric W. Schrimshaw, Helen-Maria Lekas, and Jeffrey T. Parsons, “Sexual Behaviors of Non-gay Identified Non-disclosing Men Who Have Sex with Men and Women,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 37, no. Confused?
The contrasts that Silva makes between identity and orientation and the various meanings the same behavior has for individuals was well illustrated by the mostly straight young men I interviewed. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press. 5 (2008).
[iii] Daryl Hood, Garrett Prestage, June Crawford, Tania Sorrell, and Chris O’Reilly, "Report on the BANGAR Project: Bisexual Activity/non Gay Attachment Research Targeting Strategies Identification Project." (Sydney: National Centre in HIV Epidemiology and Clinical Research ,1994).
[iv] Cathy J.
Reback and Sherry Larkins, “Maintaining a Heterosexual Identity: Sexual Meanings Among a Sample of Heterosexually Identified Men Who Have Sex with Men,” Archives of Sexual Behavior 39, no. He is not necessarily secretly hiding his sexuality, nor is he necessarily in denial about the meaning of such attractions. New York: New York University Press.
Source: New York University Press, used with permission
A straight man might identify as straight even though he has sex or falls in love with other men.
Recall from the first post that researchers increasingly call for studies to include a comprehensive description of sexuality, one encompassing self-identification, arousal patterns, and behavior. Most of these men choose other masculine, white, and straight or secretly bisexual men as partners. Are they lying?